Better Than Fifty: An Occasional Series

Frequently people have asked me what I was reading when I began to turn the corner from sexless to sexy. In recent weeks I've thought a bit more about this as Fifty Shades fever has swept the world. You won't hear much from me about that series because that ground has been quite well-trod. Trust me when I say I've read them and I wasn't particularly aroused by them because they weren't arousing, not because of the BDSM-y content. That made me think about penning a few lines on some things that are more...stimulating.

Let me be very clear before I start here. I am fan of literature. As in, I am now reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles because I never have and it was mentioned a few times in Fifty Shades, and heaven knows it's got to be better. I'm also a great fan of non-fiction, historical fiction, investigative journalism, and anything by Miss Manners. But I also like smut that is best read on your secret little e-reader.

Today's review is of Babysitting the Baumgartners: An Erotic Menage Novel by Selena Kitt. I can't remember how I came across Ms. Kitt and her Baumgartner series, but I think one of the books was the first erotica/porn I paid for once I got my e-reader. Prior to that I was making do on Literotica, which can be a giant timesink.


Doc and Carrie are a married couple with two young kids and a history of openness in their relationship. Ronnie, the sometime babysitter for the two Baumgartner kids, is asked by her employers to join them for their Christmas break vacation in Key West. Some things lead to another, and the Baumgartners seduce Ronnie and many sexy escapades ensue. Every possible combination you can imagine originating from an FFM trio happens in this book.

My honest review is that this book is good smutty smut plain and simple. It's a dirty beachside escapade to take on your dirty beachside escapade. And that's what makes it awesome. But it's pretty well-written and there's some sense of who the characters are. But really it's mostly seduction and sex. There are some mistakes--the Christmas vacation turns into a summer vacation in one paragraph. It's not clear who edits Ms. Kitt's work as she seems to run her own publishing concern.

One reviewer on Amazon said there was too much sex in this book. Their chief criticism? There is a sex scene in every chapter! (There are several sex scenes in some chapters, as I recall.) Hello, that 2-star review probably sold a ton of books!

Note, I have copied the excerpt below from the Amazon entry. It happens, as I recall, after the first threesome.

"Now, I'm hungry." His voice was low as he kissed his way back down my neck, lifting my t-shirt, and I let him pull it off over my head.

"God you're something." He looked at me for a moment, shaking his head a little and smiling. The he grabbed my bottom and lifted me, squealing, to the opposite counter, setting me up on it.

"What are you doing?" I smiled, my eyes dipping down past the top elastic band of his boxer-briefs and seeing the bulge there. It made something in my belly tighten.

"I told you." He sank to his knees on the tile in front of me. "I'm hungry."

"Doc..." My hand moved through his hair as his palms spread my thighs. "We can't--"
He pulled me forward, hooking my legs over his shoulders, breathing me in.

"Spread it for me." His breath was hot against my mound. Biting my lip, I did as I was told, reaching down and opening my lips with two fingers. He made an "mmm" sound and looked up at me.

"Show me," he said. "Play with your pussy."

I slipped my finger over to my clit, rubbing it a little, pressing the hood up and down, back and forth. It was only a few moments before everything there began to tingle and I was making a soft "mmm" sound, too.

"Do you finger yourself?" His eyes following the path of my fingers through my lips and back up to my clit.

"Sometimes." I put my feet up on his shoulders, giving him a better view and spreading myself really wide. He groaned as he watched me slide a finger into my pussy, and then another, moving them slowly in and out and using my thumb against my clit.

"Talented girl," he murmured. I saw his shoulder and arm muscles moving and knew that he was rubbing his cock. When I slid my fingers out and back up to my clit, he grabbed my wrist, sucking the juices off.

"My turn." He licked my swollen lips, up one side, then the other, teasing me at the top of the cleft, pulling on the skin with his tongue but not touching my clit.

I slid my hands over my breasts, my nipples so hard they felt hot under my fingers as I rolled and tugged on them, sending sweet waves of extra pleasure down to the spot that Doc was licking with his tongue. He moved it around and around at first--fat, lazy circles that made me moan and press my feet into his shoulders.

This is hot. All the sex scenes are hot. There's girl-girl, girl-boy, other girl-boy, and girl-girl-boy. There's lots of oral, lots of teasing, and anal sex that convinced me that anal sex was something we had to try.
Definitely better than fifty.