A while back someone I like and trust, who reads these pages, told me that I come across a bit two-dimensional. I don't know if that person's perception has changed, but I absolutely understand and largely agree with the assessment. I've tried to open windows into other parts of my life, but ultimately I know that readers come to this blog to read about sex. And I'm really OK with that, given that's the reason I set the whole thing up! But I know I can never be entirely myself here. And although everything I post here is an honest confession, at the same time I can never tell you the whole truth.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
All the World's a Stage
Someone the other day described their online persona as a "character," as someone not really quite like their real selves. It got me thinking, again, about the masks we wear, those of us pursue our endeavors anonymously.
The irony, for me, is that I started this blog (and its associated identity) because I felt as though I didn't have any real-life outlet for sharing what D and I were experiencing. And I wanted to tell someone, not in a braggy sort of way, but in a confessional sort of way. Also in an I-can't-believe-this-is-happening-to-me-in-the-best-sort-of-way way. And as a result, I further bifurcated my personality and I'm not fully myself here or in real life. And that doesn't always feel great.
A while back someone I like and trust, who reads these pages, told me that I come across a bit two-dimensional. I don't know if that person's perception has changed, but I absolutely understand and largely agree with the assessment. I've tried to open windows into other parts of my life, but ultimately I know that readers come to this blog to read about sex. And I'm really OK with that, given that's the reason I set the whole thing up! But I know I can never be entirely myself here. And although everything I post here is an honest confession, at the same time I can never tell you the whole truth.
So while I chafe behind the mask, I appreciate very much that it's there for protection. I'm not sure that Liza is a character, but she's also not really me. She represents part of me. A part that revels, somewhat uncomfortably (if that's possible), in the secret life told on these pages.
A while back someone I like and trust, who reads these pages, told me that I come across a bit two-dimensional. I don't know if that person's perception has changed, but I absolutely understand and largely agree with the assessment. I've tried to open windows into other parts of my life, but ultimately I know that readers come to this blog to read about sex. And I'm really OK with that, given that's the reason I set the whole thing up! But I know I can never be entirely myself here. And although everything I post here is an honest confession, at the same time I can never tell you the whole truth.
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Your mention of not fully being yourself either on your blog or in real life is something to which we can greatly relate. It's an odd feeling of being half-in and half-out. We can't simply tell the real-life assembled masses about the great sex we just had, or about how good fisting feels for the pitcher and the catcher. Likewise we have to be judicious about the nonsexual details we share online. It doesn't feel great to bifurcate our personalities (great word, by the way!), but we rationalize it by saying that at least we can be honest about both sides of ourselves, just not in the same forum.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that you were told that you come across as two-dimensional. We suppose that's a hazard of doing what we do in the way that we do it. We don't know if we come across that way, as we can't read our own blog without knowing more about ourselves than the typical reader does; but it makes sense. We don't share everything. We don't know whether our readers come to our blog solely to read about sex (we imagine that they do; what else might they seek there? Parenting advice? Recipes? Smart assed answers to TMI Tuesday questions?) but our tendency to shy away from the nonsexual details of our lives is less about giving our readers what they want and more about trying to make it difficult for someone who knows us to connect the dots, should anyone who knows us stumble upon our blog.
-Jack
Great, thoughtful comment as always. The last half of of your second paragraph is what it's all about. Sigh.
DeleteIt's a sex blog so I am not sure how much you can stray from the one dimensionality without giving away too much of you life. I know you don't do memes like TMI Tuesday, but as you try to remain as secret as you can, I am not sure you really even could without giving information about yourself. So that leaves sex stories and although I personally tend to prefer blogs with variety, there are obvious reasons why you stick to what you do on this blog - your desire to keep it anonymous and the fact that you're just damn good at what you DO do on the blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks Vincent. I'm always thinking and rethinking how to approach this. It continues to be a work in progress.
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