There's no theme to this week's questions, and they are really very different!
When it comes to romantic involvement or sexual attraction/activity, do you have an upper or lower age limit?
I'm gonna' go with "it depends." I've never dated anyone more than about 8 years older than I am, and the minimum has been 1-2 years younger. I am attracted to both younger and older men, as well as men my own age, so I think it just depends on the person. Interestingly, I am only attracted to women in their mid-20s to late 30s.
That being said, I remember seriously crushing on a guy from summer camp when I was in early high school and he was a WHOLE GRADE YOUNGER. It was a scandal that he was younger and because of peer pressure I never got up the courage to hook up with him. Since he lived in another city it was probably for the best anyway.
For the sake of information, D and I are only months apart in age.
So you mention you love sexy sounds, are these sound files or porno's with your eyes closed? can you link to some?
Without naming names, obviously, describe three people you know in REAL life you would be okay having sex with.
Oh, this one is so wonderful. And easy. When I mention sexy sounds, I'm specifically talking about the sounds of women having orgasms. It doesn't matter if they are fucking, getting a handjob, or masturbating. They all sound lovely. In this post from last month I link to several audio files of women I know via their blogs and/or Twitter getting off and sounding beautiful doing it. I also enjoy audio from Sonic Erotica, a website that collects audio erotica specifically for people who are visually impaired (what a public service!), but it's hot for anyone.
D and I have "lists" that include real people, not just celebrities or actors/actresses we could hit without it "counting." I don't remember when these lists started, and honestly, I don't have a mental inventory of his. But it's kind of fun.
1) A friend of D's. He's very tall, sometimes he's in very good shape, and he has incredible blue eyes. When he's in good shape he's really quite hot. But more often than not he's got a bit of a beer gut, and that just doesn't do it for me.
2) A girl I know from work. She's very petite, also blue-eyed. Physically she is so different from me. She's shorter and just sort of tiny all over. I'm not an Amazon, but I'm tall enough, with sizable breasts and just curvier than she is. There's something very appealing about her body type to me.
3) A guy I used to work with. Also tall, in good shape. Dark hair, but I can't remember his eye color. He's a slightly bigger version of the physical type I'm usually attracted to, which is taller, fit, and built like a distance runner. We had a very flirtatious work relationship, and it would be fun to see where that could go in bed.
Have you ever played around with male chastity (you know, locking your man up and teasing him until he begs to cum)?
We haven't, and I don't think we ever would. This just isn't something that gets either of us hot. I understand why chastity and orgasm denial are appealing for some people. And occasionally D denies me. Not often, but sometimes. I think part of why this isn't so appealing to us is because of our long sexless streak. Neither of us wants to deny the other anything these days.
There you go! More than perhaps you wanted to know about my sexual proclivities.
More than we wanted to know? Speaking just for ourselves, this is just the right amount. For now, anyway. Thanks for the excellent, thoughtful answers. As for audio erotica, have you been to pornfortheblind.org? This site features volunteers describing porn clips from websites for the visually impaired. It's not exactly erotic, but we find it amusing.
ReplyDeletePornfortheblind sounds totally amusing. Glad I didn't overshare ;).
DeleteGreat questions and answers. I love the sounds of sex, too. I often put porn on just for the sound, ever so lightly in the background. Then music over top of it so others in this house don't hear it LOL
ReplyDeleteNeo isn't into being tied up or denied either. Luckily he's happy tying me up a little bit every now and then! LOL!
I often use my headphones when I'm listening, especially if I don't want to tip D off ;).
DeleteMy idea of male chastity is anything longer than three days.
ReplyDeleteHere, here!
DeleteI guess the male chastity thing doesn't work very well if the woman has a higher or matching sex drive...
ReplyDeleteI love that you have a list of people you wouldn't mind fucking - without it 'counting' ; )
The whole male chastity thing is an area I don't completely understand, but I sense that it's more about power exchange than sex drives. And while we like a bit of power exchange, it just doesn't extend to orgasm denial :).
DeleteSo true about the age difference in school. I would have never considered anyone younger! It was just.... wrong. In fact he had to be at least 1.5 years older in my opinion. Funny how that works.
ReplyDeleteThe farthest we go with orgasm denial/male chastity is him not being allowed to masturbate when he wakes up and waiting until I get my hands on him! That's about as long as he or I want to wait!
I know, the age thing is so funny. Now I couldn't care less. I love how we all define "orgasm denial" in our own very special (and limited!) ways.
DeleteSounds like you like guys with ripped bodies!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't think I know ANY girls in high school who dated someone younger. The other way around, yeah, but never an older girl.
It totally makes sense why you wouldn't want to do any kind of orgasm denial nowadays!
I don't necessarily like ripped, but I do like fit. D isn't muscle-bound per se, but he's hard in all the right places. Yes. I know.
DeleteWow, somehow I missed this post until now. :(
ReplyDeleteYeah, male chatstity is actually very different for different people. Being a guy I can speak to what male chastity means to men. Let me give it a go.
Some just like the sensation of confinement and constriction around the balls and penis, just like the feeling of snug ropes around the wrists or ankles can stimulate erotic pressure points.
Others are excited by the idea of being trapped, of having no choice. There is something about the feeling of helplessness that is very exciting. The more you struggle, the more you realize the direness of your situation and your vulnerability. That is scary and exciting so you struggle more. It's a feedback loop.
Speaking of not having choice. I think this might be a little bit similar to women who have rape fantasies. There may be a bit of morality/guilt wrapped up here. Some otherwise conservative women may think, "It's not wrong to have sex if I have no choice." The chaste male version of this would be: "It's not shameful that I'm not getting sex if the reason is because I am locked up and therefore have no choice."
Others like the idea of being dominated or humiliated in a BDSM sort of way. In fact, when you mention male chastity this is what peolpe's minds usually jump to, even though this is probably not the most common aspect any more among couples who do chastity, at least in my experience.
(...continued)
ReplyDeleteFor some, wanting sex is as pleasurable as having sex. Desire itself is desirable. For these peolpe, the longer they are denied, the more they want sex. This brings a heightened sense of hypersexuality, everything becomes a turn-on when you are never able to satisfy your urges.
I'm not sure if teasing is in this same category od the pleasure from desire or if it is slightly different. Teasing is probably one of the most important aspects to chastity play. There is something about teasing that men find very exciting. I don't know if it's the "hunter" instict, like when you run from a dog it will immediately start chasing you for no reason. Whatver it is, it makes men go to strip clubs even though it will not end in sex, watch cam girls they know they can never touch and it makes chastity play very exciting, even though it may mean fewer orgasms.
There is a physical aspect to desire as well. The longer a guy abstains from sex, the more his body craves and demands it. His prostate fills up. His skin and body become more sensitive. Everything seems more erotic and he generally rides a wave of mild simmering pleasure. Men who have gone over a week in chastity report a letdown after being allowed to orgasm. Afterwrds that pleasure is gone and things seem dull and unexciting.
Some like the idea of being pushed to go beyond what their willpower could accomplish alone. I call these folks the "marathoners." There is a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment in being kept chaste for longer than you would ever have the willpower to endure without help.
For some, chastity is very practical. It may be a way to curb a masturbation habit, curtail temptations to cheat or be a fun way to be reminded of your keyholder throughout the day. For those who have long-distance relationship it can be make your partner seem very close and very *real* in your life. Instead of just a voice on the phone, she can reach into your world and into your pants and hold you throughout the day. For those who lack motivation, chastity can be used to set up a reward (or punishment) structure to incentivize good behavoir. Many couples have used it to improve his behavior, for everything from losing weight to remembering to put the toilet seat down to doing household chores or increasing the willingness to provide massages or oral sex.
For many, is is about courtly love or romance. As you know, the imagery of a knight bravely plunging into danger to prove his love for his damsel comes from the medieval ideas of courtly love. Many men have a deeply rooted desire to help, please, protect, serve and sacrifice for women. Male chastity plays right into this desire. The idea that you are undergoing chastity as a token of your bravery and devotion to your lady is very appealing to some men.
(...continued again)
ReplyDeleteFinally, for some (and I'm in this category) chastity has a very deep and complex emotional aspect that has more to do with the relationship between the keyholder and the wearer than it does with the actual lock & key. (Don't get me wrong, without a device it just isn't the same for me. It's not real enough.) This is similar to what I mentioned about courlty love, but I think is is different enough to make into its own category. I'll call it "young love." Let me try to explain.
When I was a young teenager I, like most boys, would get these terrible crushes on a few special girls. You know, young love. The feelings were so intense that they were almost painful at times. I just idolized these girls and would hang on every word they said. I would note every detail of what they wore, how they did their hair, their perfume. Just being around them would cause me to freeze up, blush and feel like I was about to faint. I would think about them all day long and of course I would twist in bed at night pining for them. It was a strange senstion to be so utterly devoted to and controlled by someone in such a deep and personal way. It was made stranger by the fact that up until that point I didn't much care for girls and by the fact that these girls seemed utterly indifferent towards me. They weren't mean. They just didn't seem to have any special feelings for me. It was very assymetrical.
In my adult life, few experiences can measure up to young infatuation when it comes to its intensity and ability to overwhelm the senses. Male chastity play brings all that back. It sets up that feeling of devotion to the wonderful girl who holds your heart captive. It's almost as sexually frustrating and exciting. And there is an aspect of assymetry that strokes my desire for courtly love. It's complex. I can't quite describe it. But it is an aspect of my romantic relationships that I crave more than just about anything else, that feeling of being infatuated with your girl.
So that's my list. Of course, almost everyone who practices male chastity is probably enjoying multiple of these aspects at the same time. Or more accurately, they tend to shift mindsets rapidly between different motivations, triggers and turn-ons. I think that shifting is why it's so hard to nail down exactly what's going on in that lifestyle. At the same time, the multi-faceted nature of chastity play is probably why it's so popular and why people find it so addicting.
I really should start a blog about this... or at least a survey. :)
Thank you for a very enlightening explanation. You really should start a blog. So fascinating!
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