Many and Varied

Orgasms, that is. Many and varied orgasms. I have many, and they are varied.

Sometimes they are hard won. Sometimes they rise and explode before I've had a moment to realize how aroused I am. Occasionally they stack up one behind the other, like planes coming in at JFK. On my own they are never guaranteed. With D often they are a dime a dozen.

Photo courtesy of Ida Oppen. Used with permission.

For 98% of my masturbating life I used two tools: my fingers and water. It was sometime in college when I realized that if you put fingers inside while you rub then you can feel the orgasmic contractions. And it feels quite good to have those fingers inside. Why so long? Because up until then I relied on water to get me off. Hot, pounding water rushing over my clit. It got me off in a matter of minutes and was almost entirely reliable. Once I was all grown up and had my own whirlpool bath, I discovered the awesome feeling of pulsating jets.

As the water pounds and pulses over my clit, it's as if two different forces are rushing to meet each other. The downstroke of the water on my pussy feels powerfully persistent, while the twitching buildup of the orgasm flits and flutters in my belly, craving just the right aqueous stroke to burst forth.

The moment that orgasm hits, my hand invariably reaches out to block the waterfall, the stimulation too much, and sometimes an almost painful intensity. My fingers sense the spasms as the water continues to lick and tickle, streaming over and through them.

Whether with my fingers or water, orgasms brought via masturbation are often powerful but singular because I can't bring myself to continue to stimulate my clit. Sometimes I feel almost afraid of the power, and I'm afraid to feel it again. Even while in the process of pleasuring, sometimes I will back away or change my actions. I don't know if I fear the climax, or if I'm unintentionally edging to make it stronger. But sometimes it's right there and I can't or don't want to catch it. If I don't, then there's no guarantee I will get back there this time around.

Orgasms with vibrators are different. I've discovered that they are longer, stronger, and more satisfying if I don't apply the toy directly to my clit. Instead, there's a little spot just under the clit and just above the urethra that is incredibly sensitive, in a less jangly way than the clit. And it's right over the underside ridge of the pubis, which means the vibrations echo and ripple through my entire pussy. Delicious.

I offer my eternal gratitude to whoever developed the first wand-style vibe, and I am occasionally depressed that I didn't get one until just a few months ago. Oh, the orgasms I've missed!! After warming up a bit, I tend to focus its attention on that lovely spot just below the clit. The vibrations throughout my cunt cause those little involuntary twitches to start. As those get closer together, I know the moment is nigh. And as I give myself over to the power of the sucking, clutching spasms, lately I can't help but count how many times it happens. My high is 14, my average around 7 or 8. All are amazing. Add a vibe to my ass for a guaranteed coma afterward.

When someone else is driving I can go on and on. I think it's because I surrender control and I don't have to think about coordinating everything. I can just feel. And in the moment just feeling is magnificent. D has written extensively about how he works to give me amazing, seemingly endless orgasms. What I'll add is that they all feel good, but they are different depending on the source.

By far the hardest orgasms I have are from his hands on me and in me. Often they come fast, and I can take many, many of them in a row. When I squirt it's usually the result of his manual attention. The combination of external stimulation and long, strong fingers working in my cunt can send me to another plane. Recently we explored the very limits of this desire, culminating in an extended orgasm and his entire fist in my pussy.

I fear this has become too clinical. When we fuck I love it best if I've already come, either from fingers or oral. If he's worked especially hard and gotten my g-spot sensitive and swollen, I can come the moment he slides his cock into me. When I straddle and ride him the circular undulations cause my clit to hit the base of his cock over and over. He loves it when I come on top of him. And any position where he has access to my clit means he's going to put those fingers to work and make me come on him over and over again.

There are days when I chase orgasms, when I can't seem to get enough of the shuddering contractions between my legs. Often it happens after a very intense sexual experience with D, and that surprises me to no end. And maybe it's knowing what we've just done and the desire to feel that continuous endorphin rush that pushes me to seek and seek again.