Have you ever cheated on a partner?

My gut reaction is to say no. But I don't feel like that's totally true. Perhaps you'll be the judge.

My junior year in college I had a very serious boyfriend. We spent almost every night together, he met the parents, they let us share a bedroom, etc. It seemed like he was the one.

Then he graduated and went to grad school quite far away. We never really defined the terms of our long distance relationship. We kept in touch (this was in the good old days before email) infrequently, and we never visited. He said his schedule was too demanding, wanted to be at the top of the class, etc.

In the spring I met an amazing guy. He was younger, but whipsmart, very hot, and he had a fantastic crush on me. We started hanging out. Hanging out led to kissing, and kissing led, well...And fuck was he good in bed. Part of it was his strength--he could really manhandle me and I liked it.

We never put a label on it, but we were definitely exclusive. And I didn't tell the maybe-boyfriend about him when we'd talk.

Months later, maybe-boyfriend and I decided that I would move out to be with him. We had one visit beforehand, and it was awful. It was pretty clear that we'd both fucked others but weren't going to be honest about what we needed. So I didn't move.

A couple years later ex-maybe-boyfriend sought me out. I was dating D at the time, but we were temporarily long distance. Ex tried to seduce me back. He said awful things about D in the process, whom he'd never met. He kept trying to show me his cock. I wasn't having any of it.

I remained with D, and neither of us has ever wandered. I mean, our eyes wander, but that's it.

Ask me anything

I Need You Inside

I started keeping a sex journal over the summer. Inspired by some of the blogs I was reading, I wanted a record of some of the amazing experiences D and I were having (and continue to have). This happened a few nights after the events described in this post.

"I want to read your story from last night," D said. I had just started the journal the night before.

"I want you to read my story and then I want you to fuck me," I replied.

"Get the fuck bed ready, ok?" I was already doing it.

We lay together on the fold-out and he asked me to read the story to him. I didn't want to. It felt too naked somehow. So he read it while I peered over his shoulder. It was pretty good, I think, except for the typos.

After he was done I asked if he liked it. He showed me his hard cock as proof that he did. I reached over and started stroking him, finding a small drop of pre-cum in his slit. I rarely get that luxury. While I stroked him, he stroked me. I was already pretty aroused, what with anticipating our fuck from the moment we left dinner. Oddly he tried to give me an out when we got home, but I wasn't taking it.

The Best Sex Is a Little Bit Gross

Fuck yeah it is.

Someone tweeted this the other day, no idea who, so I can't give any credit. But it got me thinking about how true the statement really is.

This story is not pretty, but it's honest. I'll keep the gross part to a minimum, and hopefully you'll find it funnier than gross, as we did when it happened to us.

We had Monday off as compensation for Christmas falling on Sunday. We slept a little late, but the middle of the day was taken up with going to a Boxing Day lunch thing. No one there, even the token Brit, could really explain what Boxing Day is about, other than eating leftovers and watching footie on the telly. Or something like that.

External Oblique

There's a part of a man's body that turns me on like nothing else. I can look at it for hours, but more than anything I love to run my tongue along it, nibbling gently. Following that ridge down to the waistband of perfectly fitting, low-slung, well-worn jeans...gets me wet just writing about it.

This doesn't mean that I'm only attracted to washboard abs and hard-muscled torsos. But I do like a man who keeps himself fit. All the better to objectify him.

My senior year in college I hooked up for a while with the only true jock in my dating career. He was quite tall, incredibly fit and well-muscled, and had external obliques for days. My high school boyfriend also had a nice set, and probably inaugurated my fetish. But senior year boy was something else.

Some years ago I told D about my external oblique obsession. I think he changed his workout program to give his more attention. I love his body, especially that part. If only his jeans rode a little lower....

Taking Stock

This time of year always puts me in a frame of mind to look back and take stock, while trying to look forward and consider new possibilities. For better or worse, I usually end up wallowing more in the past and what-ifs than looking ahead. And being in the moment is probably the most difficult of all for me to do.

Take this little sex blog, for example. It's just over 2 weeks old. And it sort of scares the shit out of me every time I publish a post. Over the last year, as I have rediscovered my sexual self I have begun to feel as though I cannot express my whole self anywhere. The blog is an attempt to whisper (or scream, depending on how you look at it) about what's happening behind the bedroom door to someone willing to listen.

Tonight She Comes

We had a gloriously dirty holiday weekend, and thankfully, it's not quite over.

We spent a hefty portion of this 72-hour period naked and wrapped around each other, having no family commitments and only a couple of reasons to go outdoors on a chilly, rainy weekend. We had a couple of mid-80s flashbacks, stoking our nostalgia, and many, many orgasms. The centerpiece of the weekend? A dirty version of a little board game that was very popular when we were in high school, but which we hadn't played in quite a while. And it was quite possibly more fun than naked Twister.

No Matter What You Celebrate

I wish you a happy holiday season. This is how we celebrated last night. And it was good. (there was previously a gif of cunnilingus on the sofa here. Oh, well.)

And Now, a Word from D, Part 2

The first part of this interview can be found here. The interview resumes during a break from fucking.

9. Do I demand too much from you?
No, you demand beautifully from me. When I don't get it, I miss it. You made me addicted to your everything.

10. How am I at cocksucking?
She asked before dribbling a long, sexy strand of saliva down along my cock. I think you know you're an amazing cocksucker, and amazing deep throater. A talent I don't think either one of us knew you possessed. But it's gorgeous. You get me so hard when you suck my cock. It feels so indescribably....uuuggggghhhhhhh...fantastic. Oh. Ermh. Ahhhhhh.

And Now, a Word from D

I promised something titillating, and I think this delivers. My interview with my partner in crime, D. Due to the length I'm going to post it over a couple of days.

Allow me to set the stage. We were in bed, naked. We recorded the interview on the computer as we got down to other business. There are long stretches of dead air. Well, not dead exactly, but we certainly weren't interviewing. Hence, some of answers are edited for length and coherence.

Without further ado:

Be Back Later

I've been sick all week and finally am well enough to get me some. So, stay tuned. I'll be back later with something titillating.

(Tr)eat Me Right

A few days ago I mentioned the first boy who ever went down on me. He was my high school boyfriend, and we were together for most of our junior and senior years. We were each others' firsts in many ways, and we got a lot of practice. His mom was rarely home, so we spent a lot of hours at their house, in his bedroom, watching Skinemax and getting each other off.

For. Play.

We decided to go to a very romantic restaurant to celebrate my birthday. This was back before we were slated to be separated for several weeks, and we'd be apart for the actual blessed day. We don't usually get dressed up to go out, but this was a special occasion. I'd just bought a cool new necklace that I wanted to wear, too, so we spruced up a bit.

Before we walked out the door, D handed me the remote controlled egg vibe and showed me the remote in his palm. "No panties," he said. Yes, I was wearing a damned wrap dress again, OK? It's not like I have a wardrobe full of them, but I've got a few.

Photo courtesy of Mirabilia Images. 

Public/Private Partnership

"What do you want me to wear tonight?" I asked D as we were getting ready to go to a holiday party for work. "How about one of your wrap dresses? I want to know that I'm going to fuck you in it when we get home." Stockings? Tights? "Definitely stockings."

He left the room and I started to get ready. The dress I chose is a stunner and always turns heads. My new black lace and red satin bra would be the first layer. I pulled out a new black satin garter belt and some seamed stockings and started to put them on. No panties. D came back into the room and I asked him to give me an orgasm. He used the Fairy wand and started slow but ramped it up and then held me there until I was a quivering pile of mush and come. In other words, about 3 minutes. As my motor skills returned I had to beat him off me because I couldn't take the sensation. Wet and swollen, I managed to finish getting dressed and tottered out of the house, wishing we could stay home.

Incredible. Photo courtesy of Call Me Balthazar.

A Little Thank You for Showing Up This First Week

9 days ago this blog didn't exist. Turns out a few people seem to like it. More than a few seem to like a certain post about my first orgasm. Hmh. So here's a preview of things to come:

• Slutty behavior and an office holiday party
• Tie me up, tie me down
• More almost public fucking
• Tease me, please me
• Why I like girls on film

And, please, please help my friends Violet+Rye of Uncommon Appetites. Really, you're helping yourself out if you're a fan of beautiful, sensuous people doing sexy things. See, they have made a couple of lovely, sexy videos that you can view on their blog. And now they've promised us another one. Go follow them on Twitter @UCAppetites if you haven't already. Help them hit 1500 followers. They will thank you for it, and so will I.

Somehow I doubt they'll mind me using their lovely photo as a gateway to the videos

I Was a Sex Toy Virgin

Not quite a 40 year-old sex toy virgin, but close. For reasons that continue to baffle now that I'm no longer a virgin, I didn't own a real live sex toy until about 6 months ago. My first toy was a g-spot vibrator we got at a small and not especially well-stocked sex shop near our old place. It had a bunch of speeds and rhythms, and it worked pretty well as a clit and g-spot vibe. I later discovered its anal pleasure capacities, too.

My current sex toy* inventory cannot hold a candle to what's shown above, but it includes a decent selection of vibes, dildos (including one that's almost identical to D's cock), Njoy's Pure Wand, ass plugs, and clamps. However, there will always be a number of other things on the wish list.

As mentioned in an earlier post, 2 vibes have gone to early graves. My very first one (no idea the brand), and a Jimmyjane Iconic Smoothie. Fortunately that one has a warranty to replace it. You might be asking yourself if a Hitachi is among the vibes. Nope. It's just not really on my list because 1) It's only got 2 speeds and I like variety, 2) it plugs in and I prefer more portability, and 3) it's not insertable. In its stead I have a rechargeable Fairy wand that suits my desires for portability and speed control.

I'm taking recommendations for adding to the collection. What's missing, in your opinion, or what's your favorite?

*By which I mean something I bought that was developed and marketed as a sex toy. We play with lots of other stuff, too.

Disconnected.

This happened in the not so distant past. Strap in.

We'd had some kind of sex every day for the last week. For the most part it was amazing. But the uncertainty of my travel plans, and our impending separation for several weeks due to work started to wear on us, and the last few times we tried to hook up it just wasn't happening. It was like there was too much pressure on the situation being our last chance to fuck, make love, whatever before the long separation. The details aren't important, but the lack of connection was apparent for both of us. Finally one morning we came together a bit better and I had what I was certain would be the last orgasms in D's arms for a while.

Please say hi

I am gratified to see that people are reading this little blog (thank you Google Analytics). Why don't you say hi and leave me a comment? Let me know what you like, what you want to hear more about. There's lots to tell.

Hands. Fingers. Pleasure.

This post was featured on Fleshbot and was selected as one of the top three tales for edition 32 of e[lust]. Welcome to those who found Always Each Other from there.

Sometimes D and I tell each other sexy stories, a more narrative form of dirty talking, while we jointly self-pleasure. This is a story I told him recently. He obliged with one of his own, of course.

M called to tell me he was stopping over on his way to work. He was a sexy guy I'd met through an ex-boyfriend and we'd been sort of dating for a couple of weeks. I say sort of dating since we were still in high school and pretty much only saw each other on weekends. But M found out that I was home alone on certain afternoons and apparently he'd decided to take advantage.

He rang the bell and I let him in. Almost before I'd had a chance to close and lock the door he'd pinned me against it, devouring me in a kiss. He wasn't much taller than me, but he was strong and his arms and firm chest held me in place as his body began to move against mine. He was hot and hard while I was soft and wet--our yin and yang yearning to join forces.

Photo courtesy of aurore érotique.

Rip It. Rip It Good.

Late one afternoon on our recent working vacation, after a day of walking the cobblestones and meeting with important work people, I was lying on the bed reading with my feet up. D came into the room and sort of sucked in his breath. "Is that hole supposed to be there?" "What hole?" I asked tentatively.

"The big one in the crotch of your tights?" Damn. The big one in the crotch of the spendy brand new purple tights I had just bought a few days ago. "Save those. We're going to make use of them."

Kind of like this, but that's the gorgeous Violet of Uncommon Appetites

Diary of a Horny Insomniac

Is what I almost named this blog. I dream then cream.

If you've every checked out my Twitter feed (@mrdarcysliza) you've noticed that I suffer from insomnia on a frequent basis. There's no apparent reason for it, and it comes and goes. There's no apparent solution for it, either. I've tried yoga, relaxation breathing, lavender baths, earplugs, multiple orgasms, Lunesta, you name it. Sometimes I break down and do the Tylenol PM thing when it gets really out of hand.

This insomnia thing comes in waves, and the most recent bout has been going on for a few months. There are 2 things I can count on:

1. that I will wake up at almost the same time every middle of the night
2. that I will be really fucking horny when I do

This Post Started it All

I've been thinking about chronicling our sex life for a long time. Delicious sex blogs have been a major catalyst of my renewed desire. Several months into to my explorations I found a host of blogs that share stories of hot married sex. Several of my favorites show up on the sidebar. Read them. They are divine. One no longer posts (Reed and River are Fucking), but I'll link them anyway. Not only did I find the blogs, but I found correspondents--people I could chat to about all the amazing things D and I enjoy while living vicariously through their graphomanic exhibitionism. And then one of them posted a story for me. The excitement of seeing it live pushed me over the edge.

Violet+Rye, thanks for the inspiration--intellectual, musical, edible, and most of all, pornographic.You share of yourselves in amazing ways. Here's a reblog of the lovely post they did last week at Uncommon Appetites.

"Lovers on a Train"

Does D Know About Your Blog?

A couple people have asked. Yes, he knows. Yes, he approves. Yes, he thinks it's very, very hot. I guess we could have done this as a couple, but he has other blogging responsibilities, so this baby is mine. We don't tend to keep things from each other, but sometimes we forget to tell each other random stuff. For example, today he said something about the blog title. Oops. Apparently I joked about a title and then never told him the real one. For the record, he likes the actual blog concept better than the joke I made. But this also tells me he hasn't added me to Flipboard. Grr.

Many of the blogs I read are about couples, but are written by one half of the whole. I'm the half with the overexuberant need to share, but maybe he'll put in an appearance.

First Times

I've been thinking a lot about first times lately. Recently I remembered the first time my high school boyfriend ate my pussy. That boy had a natural talent! And a beard, which was surprising delightful. Several bearded lovers followed after him.

The other night D and I were telling each other sexy stories from our pasts. It's surprising that through the years we haven't heard them all. He told me about the girl he didn't fuck on spring break, even though she all but threw herself onto his cock.What led up to that made me come twice. I told him about the first time I had a boy-induced orgasm. I'm sure I'll tell you about it sometime, too.

Just because we're older and have been together for umpteen years (I'm not really old enough to say umpteen) doesn't mean that we've exhausted our supply of first times. In the last year D and I have had several first times together, and we're looking forward to many, many more.

What's different about our relationship now is that pretty much nothing is off the table as long as it's with each other. Fantasies are lovely, but for the foreseeable future it's only each other. And that's OK. It's even better than OK. It's amazing. Because I know I can bring something to him that may sound crazy and way beyond the line, wherever the line is at the moment, and we'll find a way to go there together.

Hotel Sex (is a really overused blog post title)

We'd gone out for Thai food earlier in the evening after moving into our hotel room. "Thai food, True Blood and hotel sex. I can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday evening," I said to D.

We came back to the room and I started to make the "fuck bed," the fold-out sofa in our little studio. D really wanted us to get a room with 2 beds. He's always been a proponent of having a fuck bed and a sleeping bed in hotel rooms. Back when we didn't have sex it didn't matter. But now it matters.

From Creative Rehab's series at The Standard Hotel.

Just. Do. It.

In some ways this blog has been a long time coming, but in reality it just sprung up overnight. Sometimes you really want to be heard, but it's better for interested parties who don't know you to do the listening. Turns out I have this need to share in increasingly public ways.

My hope is that this will be a sexy blog that provides an honest look at incredibly sensual and exciting sex within a marriage, and how even if you lose each other for a while, you can come back bigger and better than ever. This initial post is a bit reflective--where we were and how we got here. I promise there will be sex. I can't promise that there will be pictures of us.