Friday, December 9, 2011

Just. Do. It.

In some ways this blog has been a long time coming, but in reality it just sprung up overnight. Sometimes you really want to be heard, but it's better for interested parties who don't know you to do the listening. Turns out I have this need to share in increasingly public ways.

My hope is that this will be a sexy blog that provides an honest look at incredibly sensual and exciting sex within a marriage, and how even if you lose each other for a while, you can come back bigger and better than ever. This initial post is a bit reflective--where we were and how we got here. I promise there will be sex. I can't promise that there will be pictures of us.

We've been together nearly 20 years. We dated for a few years before we got married and our sex life was good, punctuated by moments of greatness. We never had an incredibly high level of frequency, though. And from there it went downhill. Sometimes bad shit happens in a marriage, and no matter what it is, it takes its toll. The toll it took for us was to curtail the fucking. To all outward appearances we had a perfect union. Goes to show that you never know what happens behind the bedroom door. It wouldn't be going too far to say that we had a nearly sexless marriage for going on 10 years.

But there's a happy ending. I am a lucky woman. I know that D could have left me and would have had good reason. The only lover he had for years was his hand, and the only inspiration he had was porn. I certainly wasn't there for him. I didn't want to be, for a variety of reasons. Eventually a medical procedure changed our lives. We didn't know that it would happen, or that it would make the difference that it did.

I don't know exactly when the buildup began, but sometime early last year I started to have...feelings. And then I felt like reading sexy stuff. And then I wanted to touch myself again. Some wonderful blogs provided inspiration. And finally I wanted to reconnect with the sexy man who'd been sharing my bed all those years. And then I felt like a middle schooler with no game or clue. And I'd trained him not to approach me. So, impasse.

I circled him for weeks. I wore the few pieces of sexy lingerie I had. I pruned the v-spot. He didn't notice. So I started to snuggle him on the couch with more frequency. That didn't really bring any results. In April we were working our way through an early season of The Wire. Mmmm, Stringer Bell. Mmmm, Kima Greggs. And one night after the episode I just made my move.

The show ended and I began to stroke his thigh through his jeans. I pulled myself into his lap and began to grind as I kissed him like I needed him for the first time in ages. Hands, shirts, shorts, skirt. We were slightly unhinged. It was like our first time all over again. I slid his hard cock along my slit, soaking him in the wetness that really had been building for weeks. Finally, I straddled him and we began to fuck for the first time in years. It was hard. I was out of shape for such fucking, and I was in the position to do all the physical work.

To his credit he just let me do what I needed to do and enjoyed it. He didn't ask why, or why tonight, or did I really mean it. After he came I slid off his lap and sucked his cock clean. That was practically reflex. How had I forgotten how hot and intimate that moment could be? How had I forgotten what all of it could be?

The next day, when I could barely walk I was so sore, he tentatively asked if there was a chance we'd get to do "it" again, preferably sometime soon. Boy had no idea. Something broke inside me that night and whatever feelings started to flow again thankfully have only become stronger. Since April we've fucked at least a couple hundred times, using our average of 5 times a week as a guide. And we're still making up for lost time.

It's always been each other. And it always will be. I really think we've been through the worst and come out the other side fucking and sucking with the best. More than we ever did at our height in the early days. We may be an old married couple, but we're having the hottest, dirtiest, most exciting sex of our lives. And I can't wait to tell you all about it.

Stay tuned.

18 comments:

  1. Wahoo! Look at Liza go!

    Welcome to blogging, thanks for the link, and thanks for sharing this story, which sounds scarily familiar to ours. Much love!

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  2. Squeeee!
    I've been waiting ages and ages for you to start this!
    Keep it up!

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  3. Anisa, I've enjoyed reading your blog very much. Thanks for your support, and I hope you continue to enjoy my ramblings.

    Shelby, thank you for your sweet support! I wll read anything you write!

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  4. Oh Liza, that resonates so strongly with what we have gone through - 'nearly' sexless for about 10 years and then "we're having the hottest, dirtiest, most exciting sex of our lives..."
    I can't wait to hear more...
    SophiaX
    ps Thanks for putting me on your blogroll!

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  5. Sophia, I missed your comment! Glad to see you came clean to your husband about the blog!

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  6. Liza, here I am starting at the beginning. And wondering, does every marriage go through a dry spell and come out into a frenzy? With one of the partners ending up as a sex blogger? Or do they just go into a dry spell and never come out, or stay in a holding pattern of boring sex, or cheat, or get divorced. This is not the kind of thing people talk about every day, unfortunately. River and I have been together 19 years. Our dry spell was a year and a half. I, too, use the term "coming out the other side" and for me it's like holy crap, why weren't we like this before? We're so much more creative now. I think a lot of it has to do with a couple months when we wanted to fuck but couldn't, so we had to come up with other things. And I'll never forget River saying "I wish we could just fuck", and then we did.

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    1. You know, whichever way it goes, I wish more people would/could talk about it. We felt really isolated all that time, especially when people made jokes about sex around us. They had no idea we weren't getting any, or that it was a sore spot. Communicating true desire is a hard thing once you've lost the natural ability to do so. And it can slip away before you even realize it's happening.

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    2. Liza, I think it's awesome that you reply to comments. This is just to let you know that I read them.

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    3. I have always appreciated it when bloggers reply to comments. As a reader I feel like the fact that I took the time to read and reply was valued. And thanks for reading them!

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  7. Liza--

    Would love to hear you expand on the sexless period, what was going through your mind during that time, and how you came out of it. Even if it was a medical issue, it must have morphed into a mental issue for both of you as well as time went on. I'm trying to figure out how to come out of a similar sexless period in my own marriage, and some of the things you describe in this post are all-too-recognizable. Just not the part where my wife comes in out of the blue and fucks me sideways and then everything's better. Though I'm hopeful. Anyway, I suspect that writing about that tough period could be very helpful for some of your readers, even if it's not as hot as your other posts.

    KLT

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    1. KLT, thanks for your thoughts. I've been trying to figure out how to write about this without it being a total downer. Because it was a pretty down period. So, it's coming, but I'm still working through it.

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  8. Thanks for considering. I'm sure it's not easy, and you certainly don't owe it to anyone. But it might be very helpful for some of your readers. Great blog, though. Wow.

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    1. I'm pondering it more and more. I get requests several times a week for more from that period. Trying to reconcile writing about a sexless period on what is ostensibly a sex blog is a challenge! But, as I hear from more and more readers (men and women) who are dealing with this issue, I can tell it would definitely be a welcome topic. And thank you for your lovely comments!
      L.

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  9. This moved me to tears. So very powerful and intensely beautiful. I started at the beginning and I can't wait to read more. Very glad that you found this in yourself. :)

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    1. Wow. That's a very powerful comment, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I can't guarantee that everything is so meaningful or eloquent, but there are moments...
      L.

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  10. Hi,

    This has given me hope- I have been with my partner for 10 years and really love her. Initially sex was great but it tailed off when we moved intogether after about 4 years as a couple. We kind of ignored it because other things were so good but we'd go for months without sex. I'm quite a sexual person but I found that I just got into the habit and sometimes I'd reject her when she offered. It got even worse when we had a child a few years ago as she had torn a little during labor.

    I have always been faithful but because we'd got out of practice sex was/is not always very fulfulling for me and sometimes she can tell and feels bad. We periodically try to sort things out and it works for a few weeks but always goes back to the drought. I was thinking that this was just the way that things would be but your blog has made me want to really try again to inject some real and permanent passion back into our relationship. I want to be with her for the rest of my life and really hope that we can sort this aspect out as other things are mostly good.

    S.S

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    1. So I got very teary reading this. I didn't know it when I started, but THIS is why I write this blog--so that people can see there's a different outcome than platonic marriage. You sound like you have the foundation there, and I encourage you to do everything to bring that passion back. Make it fun, and let your wife see how in love with her you are.

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  11. Heard your blog mentioned on an erotica podcast (erotica world, if I remember right). I'll certainly read more of it.
    My wife and I have been together for 22 years (we were 17 when we met). And somewhere between year 1 and 2, her desire pattern almost flatlined. I say almost because she could still be horny (or at least "arousable") a few days each month. But all in all, it's been 20 years of sex-once-a-month diet. I never felt rejected when trying to initiate sex, just everything that was beyond cuddling (boy have we cuddled...) was ignored.

    And then she fell in love with another man and her libido shot right back... for a few months until her affair went sour and it brought more tears than lust.

    Anyway - that episode had me thinking a whole lot about the dynamics of desire in men and women, and how to fix or workaround mismatched libido.

    Our first solution has been to end the exclusivity deal (she had broken it unilaterally, and it was not the first time), and it worked magic with me. Being with a woman I don't have to try to seduce for hours before she starts showing interest is quite a huge boost to my self-esteem. Which in turn brings more confidence when I am with my wife, with some result.

    She has just finally decided to put an end to her affair, so I feel I have to step up and help her reconnecting with her volatile libido. I am starting to believe that she's really into being handled a bit roughly and I am really clueless as to how I should go about this - she's been assaulted and raped when she was 18 and unless she gives me clear instructions as to what is off-limits, I am so afraid I could step on a landmine that I mostly freeze and keep to vanilla mainstream, which tends to turn her off. And she's not comfortable with explaining what she actually wants. So my next goal is to have her understand what makes her tick and give me some clues. Reading erotica might help her put words on what turns her on. The books are on her bedstand, practically unopened. I am impatiently waiting for a tadaa moment.

    Anyway, enough rambling. Thanks for the blog. Lots of hope in there. And lots of great sex stories. I am more into drawings myself. You can check out my tumblr: http://lafessecacheedelacremiere.tumblr.com/

    Best regards,
    Audre, from France

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